Friday, July 28, 2006
/// 9:21:00 PM
i tried, i really tried.
but it just wears me out.
so muchh..
/// 9:19:00 PM
aku kerap memburu masa.
namun masa hanya pergi, mencemburui diriku
yang penuh kesibukan..
Thursday, July 20, 2006
/// 10:17:00 PM
but, why?
sighhs.
Friday, July 07, 2006
/// 8:10:00 PM
Friday.
It's the end of week, fuuuh (wipes sweat off my forehead), thank God.
This week has been quite an exhausting week, maybe not physically, but definitely mentally. It's been really exhausting to the core.
Yeah, dig in deeply into the core of the earth, and bah, it'll be superrr hot, and well.. if u can find a way to understand this part of my 'exhausting' lecture here, then good. Cause I don't really get my point either.
It hasn't only been the heavy school work load, but it was arghh, so much more. My emotions and all parts of my brain has been mentally abused. I feel so cheaaaateddd and played. And it's only the first week. This is the real 'brain teaser'.
My patience, my strength has been really been put to the test. So have my priority skills. I need more time, to focus, sit down and understand myself deep inside..
But all that I just wanna do is.. RUN. RUN AWAY.............!!!!
Tears, pillows and more tears have been accompanying me throughout the nights when I get back home from school. Insecurities, loneliness.. all come to the picture. I am being tested, I know, I know.
'Patience, girl, patience. Be strong. Trust me, it's only going to be temporary.'
How I wish I could just follow what I told myself to do.
If only I had someone I could really trust, and pour everything my heart has been keeping all along, for so long.. Until that one person comes along, I'll just have myself to grab and cry on to. I have myself to trust my problems with.
That's when I know, God is testing me, and I need to turn to Him. I know. I'm just not really sure how and where to start.
So when I'm really lost and don't know what to do, music's there. Then I remember my buddy, Symphony FM. Soothing music, nothing but cool, nice music to listen to. Just concentrate on the sound, just like Mrs Dorothy said. I guess it works. Temporarily, maybe. But it does, it really does. Thanks Cher.
Despite that, I had a good 2 hours of school today. It was nice. Study and fun, all that I could've ever asked for. Gets me reminiscing back on my year one days. I miss those so much. I know I can't go back there (duhh), but I sure can reminisce and smile about it, and I can try to make these memories last before year 3 ends and every member of NR0401 goes their separate ways. And did I tell u Sufiah has been of great company? She's really nice, and I've learn new things from her too. Lol, and yeah, I miss Mariam too.
I love NR0401. I love all u guys, including Sufiah and Mariam. Thanks, friends. =) =)
I supposed conflicts does make us all stronger people, huh.. Yeah, I guess so. Hopefully our friendship lasts for a long period of time, or better, forever. I'm not willing to lose people whom I've put so close and dearly to my hearts..
Alright then, Symphony calls for me. I have to go. Will update again, when the need arrives.
Until later,
Au Viderzeen.
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The Memories
