Haloo.

U know what?
Nowadays, I have this feeling that some people hate me, especially boys.
And that I have some kind of illness and I'm dying really soon.

Whoa. I'm getting paranoid over small matters too sometimes.
I hate planes and the loud sound it makes when it flies over my place or any other place that I'm at. All due to the September 11 attacks.
I hate sharp beeping sounds or loud sounds. And sometimes I even get irritated when I listen to loud music. I haven't been listening to music much, either.
I'm always thinking of death, and whether I would even make it to the next day.

My 16 year old sis even tells me.
"U're suffering from nothing but paranoia."
Now, that adds to my paranoia about every other thing, including paranoia.

I really need help.
Lots and lots of help.

Somebody, save me.
It's like I'm living in a world of moonlight sonata.

Til Later,
Au Viderzeen.

Hello.
Just a little update.

First day of Hari Raya @ my home.
My relatives (Mother's side) came during the day
and yes, with my father's side at night.
Ate a lot of ketupats and lontongs and sambal sontong and ayam masak merah and many many more.. YUM!

15th November 2004
Went out to one of my relative's house with some of the members of my mother's side of the family. =P

17th November 2004
Went out with Adnan, Khad, Shikin and Nick
and yes, Jason joined in later. =P
It was fun!

19th November 2004
Went to Nasir's place at around 5pm+++.
I have been going to his house for the past several of years during Hari Raya.
Still the same, I guess. Very cute. Hehehe..
Eventhough my 16 year old sister, Hidayah, tagged along, most of the time, it was me and him who did the talking. He welcomed us 'warmly' with a mini surprise at the door. Me and my sis couldn't help but to laugh. Nasir Nasir..
Headed home at around 6.50pm++, if I was not wrong.
Went to one of my relative's house that night later with my family.

20th November 2004
Relatives came over to our place and after Maghrib we went to another relative's house.

21st November 2004
Went out with Hidayah to collect our Madrasah results at the mosque and the Green Day Cd that she won at HMV.
When I reached home, Nasir told me he was gonna come over to my place with his close friend, Fahmi. Wee.. At first, 3.45pm then when confirmed with him again, he told me ETA 45 minutes. Bah! =P =P
Nasir looked cute in his red baju kurung and samping. Serious!
His friend looked cute too. =P

The night later, Cik Zul & Cik Mah + their kids came over.

And today, my youngest sister was being such a pain in the neck. I don't care if she reads this and be a cry-baby again. I bLarrrdyyy don't care at all. Who asked her to say "SOOO???" all the time?!! Who asked her to get on my nerves??!!! Who asked her to be so stuck up?!!
Don't put the blame on me. Don't tempt me to start calling u names. And don't start blaming me if I do that too.

That's about it then. Forgive me for such a boring and not-so-cute entry. Just wanted to fill the space in my blog.

Til Later,
Au Viderzeen.

So yes. Hari Raya is here.
Satan's released.. blablabla.. whateverness..

My house's very pretty now with all the additional prettiness.
Not that every other day my house's not pretty.
Its just that when it's Hari Raya Aidilfitri, it gets even prettier.
=P

Sat down alone at one of my living room's couch when the last 'azan Maghrib' of this year's Ramadan was being heard on air. Got emotional. Felt closer to God. I cried. Additional infos are between me and Allah. Case disclosed. =P

Well, yeah. The takdir. Very BEAUTIFUL.
Selamat Hari Raya, to all my muslim friends.
Have fun tomorrow, ya'll. And forgive all my past sins, ok. Be it to my muslim friends or non-muslim friends, I've been naughty throughout the years. If there were times that I hurt your feelings directly or indirectly, and talked something about you behind your back, I'm very sorry. Please forgive me.



Love ya'll..

Til Later,
Au Viderzeen..

Pulanglah

"...Sayang
Di hari yang mulia ini
Ku pohon keampunan
Hanya satu yang ku pinta
Pulanglah..."

Termenung ku sendiri
Memendam rindu tidak menentu
Kasih suci murni yang kita bina
Hapus hancur oleh kata fitnah

Di pagi hari raya
Hati sayu mengenang dirimu
Mudahnya kau menggantikan diriku
Seolah cintaku tak berharga

Apakah suratan
Aidilfitri satu titik akhir?
Sekian lama bercinta
Kau tiada di hari mulia

Keampunan ku pohon
Sekiranya aku yang berdosa
Pulanglah ku merinduimu sayang
Ku menanti dengan hati rela

Apakah suratan
Aidilfitri satu titik akhir?
Sekian lama bercinta
Kau tiada di hari mulia

Keampunan ku pohon
Sekiranya aku yang berdosa
Pulanglah ku merinduimu sayang
Ku menanti dengan jiwa rela

Pulanglah kepangkuan ku oh, Sayang..
Ku menunggu mu di hari raya.

---

I'm tired.

I feel sick.

Agitation bit me
over and over and over again.

I can't stand this feeling.

Changes are part and parcel of life.
Sometimes changes stink.

Rotten.
Foul-smelling.

I didn't like the thought of separation.
Between me & you.

I don't want to lie to myself
and pretend like I don't care
or love you anymore.

Shitty shitty shitty.

Some new times are great.

But.

The old times..

Man.
I miss secondary my secondary life
and those dear memories I made with ya'll dear people.